Rice a Rurouni, the Early Meiji Treat
by Izi-chan
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if someone didn't add a disclaimer to their fanfic before submitting it? Now you can find out! Major OOC. (I do not own Kenshin.)


Rice-a-Rurouni, the Early Meiji Treat. (by Izi-chan)  
  
  
  
Disclaimer*: I am going to eat Kenshin for breakfast. (Just read the rest of the story.)  
  
  
  
"Oi Kenshin! I've decided to write a fan fiction. Any ideas?"  
  
Sitting in front of her computer desk, Izzy-chan smirked at the reluctant Rurouni standing in the doorway of her room. "Why don't you come over here and give me some advice! It's not every day that an author can interview such a yummy looking subject."  
  
"Oro."  
  
Batting long eyelashes, Izzy-chan directed her best "Oh, I'm so innocent!" gaze to the still unwilling wanderer. "Pretty puh-leese?? C'mon! It'll be fun!"  
  
With a small sigh, the Rurouni decided it would be easier to play along with the whims of the girl. Kicking aside old chemistry notes, clothing, and food items in various states of decay, the wanderer looked at the aspiring author with amusement. "Sessha thinks that perhaps you should finish cleaning your room so you can actually get to the computer. Then you can worry about typing things on it."  
  
"Oh hush; I cleared you a path, didn't I?"  
  
"That you did."  
  
After managing to safely sit down, the former Battousai finally noticed the general décor of the room. With a nervous glance at the now shut door, Kenshin's vision was assaulted by thirty some pictures of a very familiar looking red-haired bishonen. As if to shake the image from his brain, the Rurouni blinked and shook his head violently- only to find himself gazing at a three foot high Rurouni Kenshin wall scroll hanging above the bed. Uncomfortably averting his eyes, he picked up the tiny Kenshin action figure off of Izzy-chan's color printer.  
  
"Oro? It seems that someone holds an unhealthy obsession for me?"  
  
Grinning, Izzy-chan nodded her head. "That's the whole reason that you're here. I need to write a good fan fiction about my favorite bishonen!"  
  
"Favorite? Oro? There are others? Sessha isn't enough for you?"  
  
"Never mind that. We should get started here. Any ideas?"  
  
"Why don't you show me what you have so far.then Sessha can tell you where to go from there."  
  
"You're closer.can you press the button to turn the computer on?"  
  
Snapping and popping, the electronic beast slowly awoke. Initial apprehension pushed aside, the now amused Rurouni gazed fondly into the face of his six inch plastic look-alike. "His face looks nothing like mine, but the proud stance and lithe body definitely belong to Sessha, that they do. Where did you find something like this?"  
  
"I bought it from Wizzy Wig's, an anime store in Ann Arbor. Don't loose the sakabatou. It falls out of.eh.your hands easily!"  
  
"HITEN MITSURUGI RYUU, RYU TSUI SEN!!!"  
  
Despite the fact that it was built out of plastic, the tiny sword left a nice sized dent in the side of the computer desk. Sheepishly, Kenshin put the action figure back on the printer.  
  
"BAKA! YOU ARE GOING TO RUIN MY ROOM!"  
  
"Gomen, Sessha couldn't help himself. Besides, it isn't Sessha's fault that whoever crafted this toy put the blade on the correct side. And they have the nerve to call it a sakabatou!" Kenshin's eyes brightened as he realized that the computer was ready for use. Time to change the subject! "So. let me see what you have written so far."  
  
"I really don't have much yet. Just the title and a disclaimer. I was kind of hoping that you would give me some inspiration."  
  
The Rurouni felt his stomach drop as he read the title. It almost reminded him of how he felt whenever he ate the results of Kaoru's cooking experiments. "Rice-a-Rurouni, the Early Meiji Treat. .Oro.is that really the title you want to use? Sessha could probably come up with something a little more.appealing."  
  
"Well, we had rice-a-roni for dinner last night. It seemed like such a good idea yesterday.I'll keep it until I can come up with something better. Go on.keep reading!"  
  
"Ok." That feeling of discomfort in Kenshin's stomach only got worse. "Disclaimer: I am going to eat Kenshin for breakfast." The Rurouni's violet eyes filled with worry. "Izzy-chan, you shouldn't joke around with the disclaimer, that you should not. For your own safety, I think you should change it. Plagiarism is a punishable offense; I do not want to see you in jail. Watsuki-sama will be angry!"  
  
The normal green of Izzy-chan's eyes was beginning to change to a faint shade of amber. "I will not change it! Disclaimers bother me. They are all the same. 'I do not own Kenshin.' Everyone already knows that! Why should I have to have it rubbed in my face that I don't own you? No one will notice, and even if they did, no one really cares!"  
  
Kenshin could not bear to look at the angry girl. "Hmph.It is a good thing that she does not own a bokken, that it is!"  
  
Eyes slowly returning to their natural green color, the author gazed at her advisor. "What was that? I couldn't hear you."  
  
"Never mind. Go on. Keep typing."  
  
"IZZY-CHAN!!! SOME PEOPLE ARE HERE TO SEE YOU! I'VE SENT THEM UP TO YOUR ROOM!!!" Izzy-chan's mother's harsh shriek destroyed any building animosity.  
  
"Oro. you promised that you wouldn't tell any of your otaku friends that I was here!"  
  
"Kenshin-sama, you know I would never break a promise to you!!! I have no idea who my mom is sending up."  
  
All further attempts of conversation were cut off by a curt knock at the door. "Open up in there!! This is the disclaimer police!!!" The door opened before either author or Rurouni could respond.  
  
"Wa-Wa-Watsuki-sama! We are honored with your presence here!" It was none other than Nobuhiro Watsuki, himself. In one fluid motion, Kenshin stood up and bowed to his creator.  
  
"I have no time for pleasantries. This girl here started writing a fan fiction without a proper disclaimer. Are you prepared to face the consequences?" Stepping aside, Watsuki revealed his traveling partner. the Battousai!  
  
"But.but. KENSHIN! I'm sorry!!! I should have listened to you!!! Please!!! Add a disclaimer to the story then come rescue me!  
  
The Battousai stared straight into Izzy-chan's eyes. "I show no mercy to those who do not use disclaimers!!!" Hefting the girl up over his shoulder, the Battousai and Watsuki left the room. Izzy-chan had the chance to make one final cry before she was carried out of the house.  
  
"KENNNSSSHHHIIINNN!!!"  
  
"Oro! Sessha will be there to save you as soon as he fixes your story! You should remain calm, that you should!"  
  
Making sure that no one was watching, the sly Rurouni took Izzy-chan's place in front of the computer screen. "No one will notice if Sessha adds a little.And anyways, Sessha is making the story better."  
  
Kenshin and Kaoru-dono sat alone under the stars. Everyone else had left the dojo for the night. It was just the two of them. A slight breeze rustled Kaoru-dono's hair as she turned her deep blue eyes to meet those of her Rurouni. She began to speak; her angelic voice ringing in Kenshin's ears. "So Kenshin.we have the dojo to ourselves. What would you like to do?"  
  
  
  
Author's Note: I know, I know, this is dumb. Every story I've read so far had a disclaimer on it. My puny mind started wondering what would happen if someone didn't use one. Well, I'm not really one who wants to get dragged off by the disclaimer police so.  
  
*Disclaimer: I do not own Kenshin. As I already mentioned, Nobuhiro Watsuki does. 


End file.
